Lord Chris Sonom (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chrisisofaith) wrote2020-08-20 12:31 pm
chrisisofaith) wrote2020-08-20 12:31 pm
IC Contact
UN: ravens
You've reached Chris Sonom, previously of Melvaunt Deismyr, please leave a message.
I said I’d tease you less if you told the truth, but you’re just digging up more deflections!
Fine.
I wore them as a fashion accessory.
I wore them as a fashion accessory.
To make you look more learned
I understand
And it does make you seem very distinguished at first. I’m very fond of your glasses.
Another reason not to lose them or the chain
I understand
And it does make you seem very distinguished at first. I’m very fond of your glasses.
Another reason not to lose them or the chain
You have many many charms my love
Now, shall we talk about what you don’t actually want to talk about?
How you’re feeling with two rather close friends gone. What I can do for you tonight to ease your heart
What we’re going to do the next time guilt eats at you and you need a firm hand to set the course once more
Now, shall we talk about what you don’t actually want to talk about?
How you’re feeling with two rather close friends gone. What I can do for you tonight to ease your heart
What we’re going to do the next time guilt eats at you and you need a firm hand to set the course once more
Edited 2023-11-08 17:02 (UTC)
I don’t need a dom.
[There’s a lot to address in Chris’ message, but that’s the first thing that catches his eye.]
I had coping mechanisms before Duplicity that didn’t involve that.
I’ll just turn back to those.
[Were they healthy? Not especially. But they existed.]
For tonight, I was planning on working through.
There’s an interesting statement I’m researching.
Might take a while.
It’s fine.
Enjoy the evening with Wolfe.
[There’s a lot to address in Chris’ message, but that’s the first thing that catches his eye.]
I had coping mechanisms before Duplicity that didn’t involve that.
I’ll just turn back to those.
[Were they healthy? Not especially. But they existed.]
For tonight, I was planning on working through.
There’s an interesting statement I’m researching.
Might take a while.
It’s fine.
Enjoy the evening with Wolfe.
You need an outlet
And you don’t get to tell me I’m not to start fights to get punched or find risky partners and then turn my hand away when I know you’re just as prone to harmful habits
[Hes just going to ignore the rest of that for now. What ‘tonight’ looks like will depend entirely on the rest of this conversation.]
And you don’t get to tell me I’m not to start fights to get punched or find risky partners and then turn my hand away when I know you’re just as prone to harmful habits
[Hes just going to ignore the rest of that for now. What ‘tonight’ looks like will depend entirely on the rest of this conversation.]
Why can’t work be my outlet?
[He doesn’t mean that to sound petulant…]
Look, I rely on you for so much already.
Do you even want something like that?
Honestly.
I know you said you can put on the coat and take it off again.
But I thought you didn’t want us crossing wires like that.
Not so formally when I’m meant to be the outlet for you when you need to just be my bird and relax.
[He doesn’t mean that to sound petulant…]
Look, I rely on you for so much already.
Do you even want something like that?
Honestly.
I know you said you can put on the coat and take it off again.
But I thought you didn’t want us crossing wires like that.
Not so formally when I’m meant to be the outlet for you when you need to just be my bird and relax.
It can be to a degree, but I like to see you sometimes too
I know we talked about that early on. I was worried about it then, but I think we’ve found a way to balance. To make that separation in our minds, what of it we don’t already blur. There’s more trust and experience between us now. Our communication is better.
I want to help you, I want to be your support, whatever we choose for that to look like for us. I know you can support me back too, promise it won’t undermine that.
I know we talked about that early on. I was worried about it then, but I think we’ve found a way to balance. To make that separation in our minds, what of it we don’t already blur. There’s more trust and experience between us now. Our communication is better.
I want to help you, I want to be your support, whatever we choose for that to look like for us. I know you can support me back too, promise it won’t undermine that.
I had a rule with Daphne to keep from blurring lines between that relationship and our friendship.
She wouldn’t try to dominate me with things like orders or discipline unless we’d explicitly started a scene.
If you’re really interested in trying this, I’d ask the same for you.
I’m not interested in a lifestyle sort of thing.
[No more than what he already lets Chris get away with.]
What would your stipulations be?
She wouldn’t try to dominate me with things like orders or discipline unless we’d explicitly started a scene.
If you’re really interested in trying this, I’d ask the same for you.
I’m not interested in a lifestyle sort of thing.
[No more than what he already lets Chris get away with.]
What would your stipulations be?
Of course. I've no interest in a non-consensual scene. While I might suggest one if I notice you're tense and might benefit, it wouldn't happen without your say, just as I would expect of you. Besides, we seem to do alright with some structure and no specific scene more often than not and I'll always start there.
I would ask that, if you feel I'm over-stepping, you talk to me instead of shutting it away or doubting your own discomfort. I'm not always best at realizing that's how it sounds and I would rather know it.
We should also have a proper talk on expectations and limitations, this is a different sort of scene than just taking you from your head for peace. There's different mindsets.
One last thing: There's constructive and destructive pain and discipline and the moment that line blurs is the moment we stop and revaluate. I want to help you, not become a different bad habit. Which brings the last point, one I know you worry about: if this layer begins to adversely affect our relationship, just us as us, we'll talk and find something else.
Okay?
I would ask that, if you feel I'm over-stepping, you talk to me instead of shutting it away or doubting your own discomfort. I'm not always best at realizing that's how it sounds and I would rather know it.
We should also have a proper talk on expectations and limitations, this is a different sort of scene than just taking you from your head for peace. There's different mindsets.
One last thing: There's constructive and destructive pain and discipline and the moment that line blurs is the moment we stop and revaluate. I want to help you, not become a different bad habit. Which brings the last point, one I know you worry about: if this layer begins to adversely affect our relationship, just us as us, we'll talk and find something else.
Okay?
[Uncertainty does wend its way through him. Even if he lets Chris sort of dom him sometimes, making it something more formal with discipline is… different. He chews at his lip for a moment. Trying doesn’t mean they have to continue.]
Okay.
Did you want me to fill in that form I brought when we were negotiating for pet play?
If we’re going to talk about limits and expectations.
Okay.
Did you want me to fill in that form I brought when we were negotiating for pet play?
If we’re going to talk about limits and expectations.
[Nervousness he isn’t accustomed to flits through him and coils in his stomach for some of the doubts and questions that raise in him. It’s something he should reach out to someone for, perhaps ask advice…but those he might go to were no longer here…they wouldn’t be having this conversation if they were.]
Yes, thank you, that would help.
Yes, thank you, that would help.
He takes a deeper breath as she starts in on her explanation. It feels...feeble. Like she didn't trust it to hold the water she was pouring into it. She'd already had this conversation once...and apparently, Wolfe had caved. He almost wished she'd simply left it where it was...then maybe he wouldn't be invited to offer his own thoughts. He wasn't kind enough for such things.
"A personal rule of mine is simple: if it's something worth apologizing for, you do so once. The other person can take it or leave it as they decide, but diluting the wine with the water of more apologies doesn't make it sweeter or easier to drink...it just cheapens it."
She'd apologized so much when they'd had their disagreement it had felt fake and pandering...now faced with it, he wonders if she'd found it genuine as she does now. He sets the wooden spoon he'd been using to mix aside and looks up at her.
"You're not strong enough to do this on your own, so instead of inviting someone who cares for you, you invite a person to look like a ghost of a man so you can pretend saying goodbye to his face will make it feel more real. Yet he won't hear it any better for your seeing his eyes...and Jamie'll be left with the burden of your emotions and your expectations of his being someone he's not just to appease your heart. I know you're better than that...stronger than that. I said invite someone if you needed company and somehow that turned into taking a knife to yourself, Alois' memory, and a third party altogether."
"A personal rule of mine is simple: if it's something worth apologizing for, you do so once. The other person can take it or leave it as they decide, but diluting the wine with the water of more apologies doesn't make it sweeter or easier to drink...it just cheapens it."
She'd apologized so much when they'd had their disagreement it had felt fake and pandering...now faced with it, he wonders if she'd found it genuine as she does now. He sets the wooden spoon he'd been using to mix aside and looks up at her.
"You're not strong enough to do this on your own, so instead of inviting someone who cares for you, you invite a person to look like a ghost of a man so you can pretend saying goodbye to his face will make it feel more real. Yet he won't hear it any better for your seeing his eyes...and Jamie'll be left with the burden of your emotions and your expectations of his being someone he's not just to appease your heart. I know you're better than that...stronger than that. I said invite someone if you needed company and somehow that turned into taking a knife to yourself, Alois' memory, and a third party altogether."
She tries to take a breath and all she manages is to gasp loudly, to let the knife of his words drive deeper.
In trying to do this for herself, to make things-- herself better, she's just pushing everything around. The pain, the suffering, the grief, the emptiness of that room next to hers. It's all bad. Everything she does is bad.
She should have just stuck to her plan to be alone.
"B-but I have to do-- something." She folds completely over her knees, drawing them up to her chest as best she can on the stool so she can bury her face in them as she trembles with quiet sobs. "I can't--" let the day pass without doing something. "He won't be--" there waiting for me when I go back. "I... I need to..."
Air stops reaching her lungs for a moment as she starts to weep openly, the grief she felt when Wolfe forced her to confront the fact that Aloïs was gone rushing back in. He's gone, and he will never love her again. That is a fact that can't be changed, no matter what they do. No matter if Chris is able to take Wolfe back to the Moonsea with him to learn to walk the planes. No matter if they go back to their worlds with their memories. No matter what she might say or do to convince him of it, Aloïs will never love her the way he did here. She has to let that go. She has to let him go.
Yet she's doing it all wrong. Again. When are her choices for herself anything but mistakes? Dreams, she deserves his anger for what she's done.
"I need to say it t-to someone-- who won't hold onto it," she manages finally, throat tight and mouth dry. "I can't do it alone. I-I can't be alone for it." She hugs herself tightly, forehead pressed to her knees. "I'm-- scared, and I can't... force this on you, or anyone else I love."
Should she be putting it on Jamie? No, no she should not. But she can tell him when he arrives what she intends and if it's something he can't handle she'll
tell him to go. Figure something out. Make herself get up. Bind her wounds and cut out her heart. Something to make the pain stop.
Maybe. Hopefully. She shakes her head again.
"I don't want to hurt you anymore."
In trying to do this for herself, to make things-- herself better, she's just pushing everything around. The pain, the suffering, the grief, the emptiness of that room next to hers. It's all bad. Everything she does is bad.
She should have just stuck to her plan to be alone.
"B-but I have to do-- something." She folds completely over her knees, drawing them up to her chest as best she can on the stool so she can bury her face in them as she trembles with quiet sobs. "I can't--" let the day pass without doing something. "He won't be--" there waiting for me when I go back. "I... I need to..."
Air stops reaching her lungs for a moment as she starts to weep openly, the grief she felt when Wolfe forced her to confront the fact that Aloïs was gone rushing back in. He's gone, and he will never love her again. That is a fact that can't be changed, no matter what they do. No matter if Chris is able to take Wolfe back to the Moonsea with him to learn to walk the planes. No matter if they go back to their worlds with their memories. No matter what she might say or do to convince him of it, Aloïs will never love her the way he did here. She has to let that go. She has to let him go.
Yet she's doing it all wrong. Again. When are her choices for herself anything but mistakes? Dreams, she deserves his anger for what she's done.
"I need to say it t-to someone-- who won't hold onto it," she manages finally, throat tight and mouth dry. "I can't do it alone. I-I can't be alone for it." She hugs herself tightly, forehead pressed to her knees. "I'm-- scared, and I can't... force this on you, or anyone else I love."
Should she be putting it on Jamie? No, no she should not. But she can tell him when he arrives what she intends and if it's something he can't handle she'll
tell him to go. Figure something out. Make herself get up. Bind her wounds and cut out her heart. Something to make the pain stop.
Maybe. Hopefully. She shakes her head again.
"I don't want to hurt you anymore."
She’s panicking. The vice grip of grief and expectation and heartbreak was pressing in…and she was choking on it. He knew the feeling. He’d felt the air sucked from him before and knows the ghosts of people occupying spaces you can’t escape.
Martin’s smile and laugh still echoed in this very kitchen. His hands in the dirt in the back garden overlap where Chris’ now tend.
Jacob’s ghost haunted the places Chris could avoid as he needed. He’d only recently started going back to the Spread Eagle and the Arena would never be his again…but what do you do for the ghosts that walked the halls of your own home?
Not this.
The cleric lets the memory of that gentleness he’d admired in his poet run through him now. He couldn’t be…him for this. Not all his sharp edges and hissed barbs. He takes a breath and comes around the counter to her side. His hand rests on her arm.
“You can say good bye without making more pain. You won’t hurt me with this. You won’t hurt Wolfe with this or anyone else who loves you. You’re allowed to feel your heartbreak and weather the storm while trusting the hand you’re holding through it can weather it with you. Don’t do this to the memory you want to cherish…don’t do this to yourself. We love you too much for it…so please…”
Martin’s smile and laugh still echoed in this very kitchen. His hands in the dirt in the back garden overlap where Chris’ now tend.
Jacob’s ghost haunted the places Chris could avoid as he needed. He’d only recently started going back to the Spread Eagle and the Arena would never be his again…but what do you do for the ghosts that walked the halls of your own home?
Not this.
The cleric lets the memory of that gentleness he’d admired in his poet run through him now. He couldn’t be…him for this. Not all his sharp edges and hissed barbs. He takes a breath and comes around the counter to her side. His hand rests on her arm.
“You can say good bye without making more pain. You won’t hurt me with this. You won’t hurt Wolfe with this or anyone else who loves you. You’re allowed to feel your heartbreak and weather the storm while trusting the hand you’re holding through it can weather it with you. Don’t do this to the memory you want to cherish…don’t do this to yourself. We love you too much for it…so please…”
But she will hurt him. She has hurt him. She's looked him in his siren eyes and not seen his face. If she does this with him, to him, what more will she break? How much more will she hurt him by doing this?
"I can't. Not... not to you." Not to him. Not to his face that is so alike to the one she's lost. Not on this occasion. Not for this thing. She can't wail and scream and lose herself and still have him at her side. She will hurt him, she knows she will. There won't be any other way.
"I can't say this to the air, t-to his room as I-- as Wolfe and I take it down. I need to face this... the closest thing to him I can find... alone." To say she loves him one last time. To let him walk out the door and take a part of her heart with him. She needs it to happen like this, because it is the only thing she can control in all this.
Her voice drops to a whisper. "I've tried burning the names, the memories, written out on paper before. With my family, the one I lost as a child, and it... it's not enough. This is so different too. It's like he'll be waiting for me but not when I go back. So I have to-- to rid myself of all of my feelings at once."
At least if she says goodbye to someone who looks like him, then she can close her heart and call it done.
She swipes at her face with a hand before finally looking up at him. "Come to me after I've done this, be with me then. Just please, let me do this. Just this once."
"I can't. Not... not to you." Not to him. Not to his face that is so alike to the one she's lost. Not on this occasion. Not for this thing. She can't wail and scream and lose herself and still have him at her side. She will hurt him, she knows she will. There won't be any other way.
"I can't say this to the air, t-to his room as I-- as Wolfe and I take it down. I need to face this... the closest thing to him I can find... alone." To say she loves him one last time. To let him walk out the door and take a part of her heart with him. She needs it to happen like this, because it is the only thing she can control in all this.
Her voice drops to a whisper. "I've tried burning the names, the memories, written out on paper before. With my family, the one I lost as a child, and it... it's not enough. This is so different too. It's like he'll be waiting for me but not when I go back. So I have to-- to rid myself of all of my feelings at once."
At least if she says goodbye to someone who looks like him, then she can close her heart and call it done.
She swipes at her face with a hand before finally looking up at him. "Come to me after I've done this, be with me then. Just please, let me do this. Just this once."
He stares at her, at the way his words feel like they brush past her. This isn’t kindness. This is him pushing against Jacob’s chest when he calls Chris from the ring and says he’s done. If Jacob had let the cleric back in the ring in his state, that wild desperation for the static to ease, to feel anything else…that would have been the same unkindness as this. She was just using Jamie to hurt herself.
“No. I won’t. Don’t do this. If you need a face, use mine so that you’re not using another to hurt yourself whose likely bound in some way to help you if you ask. I’d be going if my own knowing and will. If you can’t accept that…then we find something else to help you that isn’t air or flame…but I can’t let you hurt yourself like this and I can’t watch you do it. I love you too much to say yes just to make it easy…I’ll fight you every step, tooth and nail.”
“No. I won’t. Don’t do this. If you need a face, use mine so that you’re not using another to hurt yourself whose likely bound in some way to help you if you ask. I’d be going if my own knowing and will. If you can’t accept that…then we find something else to help you that isn’t air or flame…but I can’t let you hurt yourself like this and I can’t watch you do it. I love you too much to say yes just to make it easy…I’ll fight you every step, tooth and nail.”
It hurts. Not because he's wrong that she shouldn't do this, but that he feels he has to give himself to her like this. That he feels he should take the suffering she's going to inflict on him and bear it because... because...
"I'm not worth that." Not worth that pain. "You deserve better than me looking you in the eyes and saying things I would to him." Because he's not Aloïs. Because she has tried so hard this past half year to show him over and over that he's not some replacement for the man she loves, but one she loves all his own. Chris deserves better than all of this.
She shouldn't have said anything. She should have kept this all to herself. She should have skipped the damn cake and hidden herself away.
Why does being better cause so much more pain to those she loves?
"I don't want to hurt you anymore. What you ask of me will hurt, I know it." How could it not? Tears stream down her face as she hides it in her hands once more. "Why do you want me to hurt you like this? Please, I don't want--" A strained breath. "it doesn't have to be like this."
"I'm not worth that." Not worth that pain. "You deserve better than me looking you in the eyes and saying things I would to him." Because he's not Aloïs. Because she has tried so hard this past half year to show him over and over that he's not some replacement for the man she loves, but one she loves all his own. Chris deserves better than all of this.
She shouldn't have said anything. She should have kept this all to herself. She should have skipped the damn cake and hidden herself away.
Why does being better cause so much more pain to those she loves?
"I don't want to hurt you anymore. What you ask of me will hurt, I know it." How could it not? Tears stream down her face as she hides it in her hands once more. "Why do you want me to hurt you like this? Please, I don't want--" A strained breath. "it doesn't have to be like this."
[It's a while before Jon responds with an attached file.]
You should fill it out, too.
Use them to start the conversation.
You should fill it out, too.
Use them to start the conversation.
He moves in front of her and slides his hands up to cup her damp cheeks and pry her face free of her pained curl to see him.
“Of course it will hurt…but it’ll hurt regardless. Your pain is my pain…you’re my mirror, right? So it is bound to be regardless. I don’t think if it as a hurt done…I think of it as help. You were there for me at my lowest, after the Zoo…you held my pain even though it hurt you -I hurt you- and you helped me find the pieces to put back together. I want to help you find yours so this ache in you might finally scar over.”
“Of course it will hurt…but it’ll hurt regardless. Your pain is my pain…you’re my mirror, right? So it is bound to be regardless. I don’t think if it as a hurt done…I think of it as help. You were there for me at my lowest, after the Zoo…you held my pain even though it hurt you -I hurt you- and you helped me find the pieces to put back together. I want to help you find yours so this ache in you might finally scar over.”
Edited 2023-11-09 06:41 (UTC)
The words play over and over in her head, the same way they do every time she doubts herself and someone tells her they will take up burdens they don't deserve to have on their shoulders.
You can't give yourself worth that's not there.
I am fit to lead no one.
She is going to hurt him so much. She shouldn't do this. He shouldn't let her.
"I..."
What will she even say? The words she's practiced for when she saw Aloïs' face again? Something else entirely to avoid hurting him? There's nothing she can do, can say, that won't make this the worst thing she's ever done to him. And he's asking her to do this. To let him... help.
Her throat closes completely, and for a moment she doesn't know what to do about it. She raises a hand to touch his shoulder before dragging it down the outside of his arm to his elbow. She grips hard at him as she tries to catch her breath, to find something to say, but it feels like there's nothing. What can she say? What is she to do when he's proven she can't stand on her own feet and do what's best for herself?
"I'm so afraid." Of hurting him and fracturing what they've managed to claw out for themselves. What if this is too much? What if she finally breaks them? "I don't want to lose you, too."
You can't give yourself worth that's not there.
I am fit to lead no one.
She is going to hurt him so much. She shouldn't do this. He shouldn't let her.
"I..."
What will she even say? The words she's practiced for when she saw Aloïs' face again? Something else entirely to avoid hurting him? There's nothing she can do, can say, that won't make this the worst thing she's ever done to him. And he's asking her to do this. To let him... help.
Her throat closes completely, and for a moment she doesn't know what to do about it. She raises a hand to touch his shoulder before dragging it down the outside of his arm to his elbow. She grips hard at him as she tries to catch her breath, to find something to say, but it feels like there's nothing. What can she say? What is she to do when he's proven she can't stand on her own feet and do what's best for herself?
"I'm so afraid." Of hurting him and fracturing what they've managed to claw out for themselves. What if this is too much? What if she finally breaks them? "I don't want to lose you, too."
Something feels like it slides into place with her words. A perspective he'd not fully considered. The ache that her not seeing him has caused, the proof of it's weight on him that he's shown her. She fears that, she fears the fractures and the weight and what it might do to them when all he's been seeing is what this empty gesture will do to her and someone he really only cares for within his role as a close friend of Jon's. His concern was for her...not for himself.
Maybe one of the few distinct moments he can remember not being selfish...which only hardens his resolve. Didn't that make it worthwhile, then? Didn't that make this right? He might not agree with what she thinks she needs, but if she does need it, better to soften the process as best he can.
He moves in close in spite of them both and wraps his arms around her tight, as though he could take the fear from her if his arms were strong enough. "You won't lose me. I can promise that, if nothing else. If I need to take a day or two to give us space, I will...but then I will be right back at your side. We've...torn at each other too much for the scars to have done anything but tie us closer. You are bound in me as I am in you...will you trust me with this?"
Maybe one of the few distinct moments he can remember not being selfish...which only hardens his resolve. Didn't that make it worthwhile, then? Didn't that make this right? He might not agree with what she thinks she needs, but if she does need it, better to soften the process as best he can.
He moves in close in spite of them both and wraps his arms around her tight, as though he could take the fear from her if his arms were strong enough. "You won't lose me. I can promise that, if nothing else. If I need to take a day or two to give us space, I will...but then I will be right back at your side. We've...torn at each other too much for the scars to have done anything but tie us closer. You are bound in me as I am in you...will you trust me with this?"
She slides her arms around him when he pulls her close, face buried in his shoulder. It's warm here. There's comfort in this embrace. It's... safe. It should be, and so it is. The same way it's safe with Wolfe, or with Yennefer. The way it was with Cinder.
The way it was with Aloïs.
Maybe she shouldn't trust this, but for once, her gut isn't twisted with the pain of worry over what may be. It's not that she's going to ruin things by doing this, it's that she might if she doesn't. She can't lose him to this, too, and if he says he'll be all right... she trusts him. If she can't be there for him, she knows Wolfe can be. She can - she will - part from their mage long enough to make sure the cleric is well. That's more important than the first few hours after this is done.
Her fingers clutch at his shoulders as she lifts her head just enough to whisper in his ear. "I trust you. I love you, and I... I trust you to tell me what you can do in this."
She retreats again into his shoulder, breathes in the familiar scent of him in the warmth of his embrace in this unfamiliar kitchen, and holds tight. "I need you, Chris. Please." Please, don't ever go.
The way it was with Aloïs.
Maybe she shouldn't trust this, but for once, her gut isn't twisted with the pain of worry over what may be. It's not that she's going to ruin things by doing this, it's that she might if she doesn't. She can't lose him to this, too, and if he says he'll be all right... she trusts him. If she can't be there for him, she knows Wolfe can be. She can - she will - part from their mage long enough to make sure the cleric is well. That's more important than the first few hours after this is done.
Her fingers clutch at his shoulders as she lifts her head just enough to whisper in his ear. "I trust you. I love you, and I... I trust you to tell me what you can do in this."
She retreats again into his shoulder, breathes in the familiar scent of him in the warmth of his embrace in this unfamiliar kitchen, and holds tight. "I need you, Chris. Please." Please, don't ever go.
He shifts only far enough to press a lingering kiss to her hair. With it settles some peace...some relief. This was the right choice and with Wolfe between them, they'd both be fine from this...and maybe the knife Amelia would hold to her own breast wouldn't bleed too messily to recover from.
What else was a cleric for but to offer peace and guidance and relief from the aches of loss? She needed him? Maybe, in this case, he could believe that.
"You have me...I won't leave you to your own aches...and when it's done all the people you love, who love you and still can be, will be there for you. You're not alone in this." One of his hands moves to her back to smooth along it and try to ease her. He had no intention of letting go until she was ready, their cake could wait.
What else was a cleric for but to offer peace and guidance and relief from the aches of loss? She needed him? Maybe, in this case, he could believe that.
"You have me...I won't leave you to your own aches...and when it's done all the people you love, who love you and still can be, will be there for you. You're not alone in this." One of his hands moves to her back to smooth along it and try to ease her. He had no intention of letting go until she was ready, their cake could wait.
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