It’s too much. It’s too many words in just the order to dig and press and some part of him wonders if he can shatter his own teeth for how hard they’re clenched. He doesn’t want to say anything. He wants to say everything. He wants to say the right things and not anything that will make Wolfe hurt worse.

“I’m sorry.” His voice shakes. “I put distance…I didn’t know what else…I don’t know how to work through this…and I’m scared to tell you what’s in…what I think and feel. I…” his voice cracks and he buries his face against the side of Wolfe’s hair.

“I don’t think I…deserve to feel better. You always make me…you make me feel better…but I’ve never felt this…twisted up. Not even after the Zoo…not after my own death…I should’ve-” he takes a wretched gasp of air that goes rough through his lungs and he has to stop again. If he breaks down now, he’ll simply fall to pieces.