Chris has his leather jacket back on, at least, and his own black jeans and loose shirt, a small comfort compared to borrowing Jacob's clothing and feeling a bit like a child in things meant for a broader form than his. The jumper had been nice, it had reminded him of when Jacob had taken his off his own back and put it on Chris' shivering form after being fished from the wreckage of the Tempest.
Gods, was this even as bad as questioning his own place in life and if he was truly alive? Was it as bad as the pit? He really did need to pull himself together, he's been through worse, this shouldn't shake him. Wasn't letting it shake him exactly what he'd told himself he wouldn't do just so they couldn't win over him?
The thoughts swirl vaguely in his mind with Hawke now climbing up to him and pausing. Chris meets his rhetorical questions of word choice with political neutrality and quiet, though the hug and following words threaten to break it. Is that what he needed? Wouldn't it have been nice to have simply laid around in Hawke's arms a bit as he had Jacob's yesterday? Now it feels like the time for that has passed with everything else. Amelia's words sift through everything else and he finds himself torn. If he explains what she said, maybe he'll feel less like Hawke thinks he's crazy, maybe he can point out why he can't just let himself curl into the mage's hold as he'd like. But, if he does, he'll have to process it all and that sounds like...too much.
That was the answer. Not the guise of a king no one believed of him, not some weepy victim he refused to be, he should have fought to just be aggressively himself. Normal. He just needed to find that feeling again and turn it into a coat he could put on until it felt like a proper fit once more.
He doesn't lean away from the affection, but his eyes close for a moment, letting it wash through him before he bothers an attempt at words. "Consider it dropped, then. I obviously misunderstood her concerns. You didn't have to run here, I wasn't going anywhere." He pulls back to look up and offer a smile that feels like the right fit and it's...not as hard to manage as he'd feared. Yes, he can do this.
"I've had you more worried than you've need to be. I just need more sleep, I think, but I'll be alright."
Not really a lie on any front. That was how he was going to be able to shape this around him.
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Gods, was this even as bad as questioning his own place in life and if he was truly alive? Was it as bad as the pit? He really did need to pull himself together, he's been through worse, this shouldn't shake him. Wasn't letting it shake him exactly what he'd told himself he wouldn't do just so they couldn't win over him?
The thoughts swirl vaguely in his mind with Hawke now climbing up to him and pausing. Chris meets his rhetorical questions of word choice with political neutrality and quiet, though the hug and following words threaten to break it. Is that what he needed? Wouldn't it have been nice to have simply laid around in Hawke's arms a bit as he had Jacob's yesterday? Now it feels like the time for that has passed with everything else. Amelia's words sift through everything else and he finds himself torn. If he explains what she said, maybe he'll feel less like Hawke thinks he's crazy, maybe he can point out why he can't just let himself curl into the mage's hold as he'd like. But, if he does, he'll have to process it all and that sounds like...too much.
That was the answer. Not the guise of a king no one believed of him, not some weepy victim he refused to be, he should have fought to just be aggressively himself. Normal. He just needed to find that feeling again and turn it into a coat he could put on until it felt like a proper fit once more.
He doesn't lean away from the affection, but his eyes close for a moment, letting it wash through him before he bothers an attempt at words. "Consider it dropped, then. I obviously misunderstood her concerns. You didn't have to run here, I wasn't going anywhere." He pulls back to look up and offer a smile that feels like the right fit and it's...not as hard to manage as he'd feared. Yes, he can do this.
"I've had you more worried than you've need to be. I just need more sleep, I think, but I'll be alright."
Not really a lie on any front. That was how he was going to be able to shape this around him.