Retreating. Clam up. Hawke felt like he'd been pulling away and his eyes falling on that knot in the tree past his friend sends a jolt through him. Like watching Jon crumble in on himself while Chris tries to clutch at the pieces so he can put his Archivist back together. Like that leaden fear in his core each time he sees Jon pulling away from him, that this time Chris won't be able to pull him back. That he'll lose him.
His eyes close tight a moment to stave off the burning. Maybe Amelia wasn't entirely wrong.
Slowly, his hand comes up to wrap around Hawke's arm before he can pull it away. He needed to give him something. Beyond anything else, Hawke was his best friend...his party member. He'd spent more time without those supports than with them, they were still relatively recent in comparison, but it was like night and day. Did he really want to go back to those times when he only really had himself? That had been a very lonely time.
His fingers dig a little tighter in Hawke's arm. "You aren't going to lose me, Wolfe. I'm just...I'm still not sure what I need. Or how I should go about this. What everyone else needs of me to make this easy to get past. To not let them win something, even with them gone."
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His eyes close tight a moment to stave off the burning. Maybe Amelia wasn't entirely wrong.
Slowly, his hand comes up to wrap around Hawke's arm before he can pull it away. He needed to give him something. Beyond anything else, Hawke was his best friend...his party member. He'd spent more time without those supports than with them, they were still relatively recent in comparison, but it was like night and day. Did he really want to go back to those times when he only really had himself? That had been a very lonely time.
His fingers dig a little tighter in Hawke's arm. "You aren't going to lose me, Wolfe. I'm just...I'm still not sure what I need. Or how I should go about this. What everyone else needs of me to make this easy to get past. To not let them win something, even with them gone."