Her chest tightens at seeing tears in his eyes, watching his proud face tighten in ways he always resists. She knew this would be hard for them both, but as she watches him struggle to keep together, she wonders if it was too much to ask of him. If he falls apart or has to flee, it'll be her fault. He can't claim otherwise, nor should he. This was her choice, her ask, and that makes every part of this hers to own.

"I didn't know you'd turned or come here," she begins slowly. It's not fear of her own answer that gives her pause but a realization she's had but never put into words. "If you'd asked me then, I'd have told you I only wanted a flight. I wanted to hurt physically in a that could pull my thoughts from the ache in my heart. But..."

But...

Her expression falls into something close to despair. "Without admitting it even to myself, I would have done almost anything to end that pain. It mattered little how it happened, so long as someone or something did it. I couldn't take the knife to my own chest, but I was willing to let someone else do it for me." A short, tense breath. "I didn't know it would be you. I wish it hadn't been to spare us both so much pain now. In that moment, though... I was grateful it was you. It made the sting worse for who you are and who you are not."