Lord Chris Sonom (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chrisisofaith) wrote2020-08-20 12:31 pm
chrisisofaith) wrote2020-08-20 12:31 pm
IC Contact
UN: ravens
You've reached Chris Sonom, previously of Melvaunt Deismyr, please leave a message.
He has a very acerbic way.
What were we talking about? Your paranoia? Why are you paranoid about people manipulating you? Let them when they're doing it to help.
What were we talking about? Your paranoia? Why are you paranoid about people manipulating you? Let them when they're doing it to help.
I was talking about you not Cy
And no. I’ve had my fill of manipulation especially ‘for my own good’
And no. I’ve had my fill of manipulation especially ‘for my own good’
Then when are you going to stop being manipulative?
Crais
[…]
I didn’t even realize I was until last time I was here. Those shadow versions of ourselves.
So at least I’m aware of it and I try to be kind.
[…]
I didn’t even realize I was until last time I was here. Those shadow versions of ourselves.
So at least I’m aware of it and I try to be kind.
I don't value kind.
I value good.
You manage good just fine. (Generally) good and manipulative aren't in opposition.
Please is manipulative.
I value good.
You manage good just fine. (Generally) good and manipulative aren't in opposition.
Please is manipulative.
I'm looking for you to stop being defensive about a normal sentient being social skill.
So you want me to just accept being manipulated by someone?
No, that part was fine. Your reaction to me pointing out that you are manipulative concerns me.
My reaction was from your stipulation that I had to stop being manipulative to expect to not be manipulated.
That was meant to be a transitory statement not a stipulation.
I can't tell if you're upset with me or not
There is nothing you can do that will make me upset with you, except walk away from me without warning or explanation.
I would never do that unless under supreme duress.
So
Good I guess
So
Good I guess
What do you need from me to be more sure?
I don’t know. Less certainty people will leave if they notice the bad.
It’s not you. I’m not used to unconditional anything. I’ll work on it.
It’s not you. I’m not used to unconditional anything. I’ll work on it.
I hope you're not looking for congratulations from me, you've made it very clear whose side you're on.
[He’s barely been catching up on sleep. There’s too many he’s minding and the house is too quiet and his head’s been a mess for…months. He should probably go to Jon like he promised, but it feels too soon and gods knew Jon was dealing with his own fires, Chris didn’t need to take a match to himself too.
When Jacob’s username flashes across his phone, there’s a flicker of happiness and hope ingrained in him that quickly gives way to dread.
They haven’t spoken, not even the inane little texts they would send. He hasn’t gone to the Arena or The Spread Eagle in days.
His emotions turn sharp and too much like a River of glass through him.]
What the fuck would you have me do, contract with you? Contract with Vernille?
What do you want me to say?
When Jacob’s username flashes across his phone, there’s a flicker of happiness and hope ingrained in him that quickly gives way to dread.
They haven’t spoken, not even the inane little texts they would send. He hasn’t gone to the Arena or The Spread Eagle in days.
His emotions turn sharp and too much like a River of glass through him.]
What the fuck would you have me do, contract with you? Contract with Vernille?
What do you want me to say?
[ Jacob had waited, every single fucking day, to see Chris walk in. He didn't need him to come apologising, he didn't need him to come crawling, he didn't even care. He just missed the blond idiot, missed his voice and his smile and the smell of him around, sparring in the Arena or having a drink as Jacob worked, and not having him around was... was like having a limb missing.
But Chris' contract with Jon was a stab, a horrible wound that sliced deep into his chest, and he knew then how truly stupid he had been. Chris said he didn't want to pick that he didn't want to have to side with one of them over the other, but he clearly had, and he hadn't even had the balls to say anything. Just done it, knowing Jacob would find out.
And now, that stupid reply? That fucking ridiculous message. Contract with you? as if Jacob didn't wish that he could, that he was free to sign up with anyone he liked, that it didn't matter what stupid station they'd been assigned in this place. It made him angry all over again, so angry he could spit. ]
I'd contract with you if you wanted. But this place won't allow that, so don't throw it in my face like it's my fault.
But Chris' contract with Jon was a stab, a horrible wound that sliced deep into his chest, and he knew then how truly stupid he had been. Chris said he didn't want to pick that he didn't want to have to side with one of them over the other, but he clearly had, and he hadn't even had the balls to say anything. Just done it, knowing Jacob would find out.
And now, that stupid reply? That fucking ridiculous message. Contract with you? as if Jacob didn't wish that he could, that he was free to sign up with anyone he liked, that it didn't matter what stupid station they'd been assigned in this place. It made him angry all over again, so angry he could spit. ]
I'd contract with you if you wanted. But this place won't allow that, so don't throw it in my face like it's my fault.
Edited 2022-07-15 16:36 (UTC)
[They we’re usually better than this.
Maybe.
Were they? How long had he been nursing his grudge that Jacob only seemed to want him when he’d spread his legs? When that had been Chris’ perception. Mostly.
Maybe this was just them.]
You wouldn’t.
Think what you want, but I would contract with you if I could.
But it’s not an option.
What is an option is someone I trust more than nearly anyone else here, someone I know respects me and my comfort and I his.
[‘Would you rather it be some stranger who I might read wrong’ is typed out but not sent. That wasn’t helpful.]
Im looking out for myself, not fueling your anger or hurt.
Maybe.
Were they? How long had he been nursing his grudge that Jacob only seemed to want him when he’d spread his legs? When that had been Chris’ perception. Mostly.
Maybe this was just them.]
You wouldn’t.
Think what you want, but I would contract with you if I could.
But it’s not an option.
What is an option is someone I trust more than nearly anyone else here, someone I know respects me and my comfort and I his.
[‘Would you rather it be some stranger who I might read wrong’ is typed out but not sent. That wasn’t helpful.]
Im looking out for myself, not fueling your anger or hurt.
[Jacob growls, how fucking dare Chris say that? He doesn't know what the hell Jacob feels, he doesn't know what Jacob would or wouldn't do if things were different.]
Well I'm so glad you trust him more than me. I'm so glad that you think he respects you and your comfort so very much. I'm sure you'll be fucking happy together. I'm sure he'll fuck you rough and let you tie him up and you'll shag like bloody devils and afterwards you can cuddle and talk about fucking stars and towers and candles floating on the goddamn sea and drink FUCKING HERBAL TEA.
Well I'm so glad you trust him more than me. I'm so glad that you think he respects you and your comfort so very much. I'm sure you'll be fucking happy together. I'm sure he'll fuck you rough and let you tie him up and you'll shag like bloody devils and afterwards you can cuddle and talk about fucking stars and towers and candles floating on the goddamn sea and drink FUCKING HERBAL TEA.
[He almost actually screams. There’s a crackle of black energy around his hands as it grips too tightly to his phone that causes the screen to flicker and he has to drop it on the nearest surface before he breaks it.
He should fly down there and punch that man! He should just stop talking to him altogether-
Except he can’t.
Gods know he wants to on something level, but he can’t.
He tries to think through the static and rage and tries to look at what Jacob’s written again. He loves him enough to try.]
Why
Why are you throwing this in my face?
Why are you taking my words around? I didn’t say more, I said he’s a dominant and I trust him.
I didn’t say I wasn’t going to do those things with you.
Why are you so angry about this?
He should fly down there and punch that man! He should just stop talking to him altogether-
Except he can’t.
Gods know he wants to on something level, but he can’t.
He tries to think through the static and rage and tries to look at what Jacob’s written again. He loves him enough to try.]
Why
Why are you throwing this in my face?
Why are you taking my words around? I didn’t say more, I said he’s a dominant and I trust him.
I didn’t say I wasn’t going to do those things with you.
Why are you so angry about this?
[ He wishes he was drunk. But he isn't. He's stone cold sober, and he has to stay that way. He hates it.
And he hates how purposefully stupid Chris is being. He's a smart man, beautiful and capable, with a bold heart and Jacob feels so aggrieved impossibly angry that this is what is happening between them. Why? Because Chris had thrown in his lot with Jon Sims, a fucking coward, a rude, unpleasant creature that will snap and snarl and spit poison but won't actually get his hands dirty.
Chris can do better. Jacob isn't better. He's not even on par. He knows that much. That's why he tries. He forces himself to read what he writes and re-write it, over and over.]
You told me to leave. And then this last few days, I thought thought might see you. I didn't have the courage to go find you, but I hoped you might come to me. And then you signed with Sims and still didn't reach out to me, just to let me know? I know you don't need my blessing or my approval or anything like that but I'd tell you if I was living somewhere else with a new dominant.
And...
And I assumed you were done with me.
And he hates how purposefully stupid Chris is being. He's a smart man, beautiful and capable, with a bold heart and Jacob feels so aggrieved impossibly angry that this is what is happening between them. Why? Because Chris had thrown in his lot with Jon Sims, a fucking coward, a rude, unpleasant creature that will snap and snarl and spit poison but won't actually get his hands dirty.
Chris can do better. Jacob isn't better. He's not even on par. He knows that much. That's why he tries. He forces himself to read what he writes and re-write it, over and over.]
You told me to leave. And then this last few days, I thought thought might see you. I didn't have the courage to go find you, but I hoped you might come to me. And then you signed with Sims and still didn't reach out to me, just to let me know? I know you don't need my blessing or my approval or anything like that but I'd tell you if I was living somewhere else with a new dominant.
And...
And I assumed you were done with me.
Page 27 of 111
- «
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- 10
- 11
- 12
- 13
- 14
- 15
- 16
- 17
- 18
- 19
- 20
- 21
- 22
- 23
- 24
- 25
- 26
- 27
- 28
- 29
- 30
- 31
- 32
- 33
- 34
- 35
- 36
- 37
- 38
- 39
- 40
- 41
- 42
- 43
- 44
- 45
- 46
- 47
- 48
- 49
- 50
- 51
- 52
- 53
- 54
- 55
- 56
- 57
- 58
- 59
- 60
- 61
- 62
- 63
- 64
- 65
- 66
- 67
- 68
- 69
- 70
- 71
- 72
- 73
- 74
- 75
- 76
- 77
- 78
- 79
- 80
- 81
- 82
- 83
- 84
- 85
- 86
- 87
- 88
- 89
- 90
- 91
- 92
- 93
- 94
- 95
- 96
- 97
- 98
- 99
- 100
- 101
- 102
- 103
- 104
- 105
- 106
- 107
- 108
- 109
- 110
- 111
- »
Page 27 of 111