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[chrisisofaith]

UN: ravens

You've reached Chris Sonom, previously of Melvaunt Deismyr, please leave a message.

Comments

[notrosecolored]

I didn't tell you not to love her.

[chrisisofaith]

I do!
And I don’t doubt she still does

You can be disappointed in someone and still love them

[notrosecolored]

How old were you when she took you in?

[chrisisofaith]

Technically, it was the brothel mother, but Kayt was her right hand and took over raising me. I was four.

[notrosecolored]

Charles took me in when I was about 16. Close to an adult. The last thing I clearly remember him saying to me was, summarized, that he was disappointed in me and my failure was his fault. Then some kind of threat around it and i killed him.

It isn't actually important except in this : Whatever she feels about you, you have a lot to be proud of.

[chrisisofaith]

What a shitty thing to say.
I'm sorry you killed him, though if there was a threat

I know that, at least. My success or mine as much as my failures, she and Ivaline gave me the tools it's my choice what I do with them.
I just wish I didn't feel like she doesn't know what to do with me anymore.
I don't need her in my life, but I want her there

I don't know. it's nothing that matters here.

[notrosecolored]

No. It was a fair thing to say - stupid, and not his responsibility overall, but fair.

I'm not sure not knowing what to do with you equates to being disappointed in you.
I'm not sure it doesn't. If she's still around, though, that means she wants to be there, too.

[chrisisofaith]

I meant it was shitty cause it's not his responsibility and he shouldn't be taking ownership of you like that

She's disappointed I'm not a girl, I don't know how far that translates to being disappointed in me over all. She hasn't exactly said she's proud of me either.
But, thank you. I do know she could easily have stopped having anything to do with me several times over.

[notrosecolored]

That's what makes it fair - there was no me left before him. My memories before I ran are... patchy and bad. I don't even know with any certainty what was real and what wasn't - my memories and mind were being played with continually, I don't think I'll ever be entirely sure what was real as opposed to just suspect and filled in.

After I ran I was with another guy for a little while. Charles tracked me down with some help from the FBI due to the nature of crimes I was helping him commit. I don't remember a whole hell of a lot of that, either, but I do remember killing that guy.

Charles effectively created me from... nothing. He built a team and put me in charge of it because it kept me alive.

He just failed to realize 'responsible for mutants' was, someday, going to overpower... believing completely that his way was the right way. Disappointed was fair. Telling me while possessed by something as powerful as Phoenix... stupid..

[chrisisofaith]

[...]

Alright, I see your point. I still don't think it's fair. Maybe he helped make you but you've got a brain, Scott, I know you thought your own thoughts in that time after he helped you, even if they were colored.

Him claiming your failures is not different than claiming your successes. They're both yours. He just gave you the tools.

Even if there wasn't much a you before him, there sure has been since.

[notrosecolored]

It depends on the day.

And I didn't say he was right. He's been wrong about a lot of things. I get the disappointment. He was still wrong.

[chrisisofaith]

Really? You seem to be plenty of an ass most days

But alright. So long as you know it.