chrisisofaith | IC Contact

[It's an easy one to answer.]

With my life.

Do you respect him?

I do. Completely.

[Not that she's showing it well right now.]

Then trust his judgement.
If you wouldn't question him otherwise, don't start with your own self-recriminating doubts.

He's foolish at times, but he's not so reckless with his own heart. He'll fight with you and support you and check you. He may very well hurt you, but if you trust each other and respect each other, you'll figure it out, fix it, and get stronger for it.

Relationships are about building yourselves stronger together.

[She's going to need a few minutes to read that over and over - as well as to collapse into a corner and sob about it - before she can answer.]

That how it's supposed to work? I've not seen it happen in front of me.

[She can't remember her parents' relationship enough to know if it's true.]

[Neither has he. His own first relationship was...complicated. It wasn't until he saw Chastity and Amnos that he knew his expectations to be true. She didn't need to know that, though.]

Then find out for yourself. Even if it scares you to the bone.

[You're not helping me with this.

She almost hits send on the message, but manages to think better of it. Lashing out won't help.]

I'll try.

[She's going to fail. She knows it. But she owes it to Wolfe to try.

There's a few minutes of silence between her messages. It had been her intention to force Chris into a conversation about their time in the park today, but after all this... It can wait until he's free.]

You and I have other matters to discuss once this is over. I'm certain you know that I mean.

In person, though. I'll need to give you back the apron.

As you like.

I'm sure we can meet to talk once I'm out of the People Zoo in general, Kyle won't restrict my movements.

I'll let you know and we can find a time. Unfortunately, next I have to tell Grayson.

Let me know when you're free and we'll speak then.

Good luck with Grayson. I'll leave you to it.

Stay safe, Chris.

Of course.

[The next day, he goes to the People Zoo. He sends a single message to her that Tim is on his way for Martin and then nothing else for eighteen long hours.]

[Chris gets several messages after that last one about Martin. First an hour later asking for an update. Then two hours after that asking for an update again. After that, the messages are sporadically sent around her work at The Crucible. She obviously hasn't slept by the time the next message arrives.]

We're far outside the window of time I'm willing to patiently wait for an answer. I know Martin is with Tim, and you've still not said a damn word to me.

If you say nothing to me for the next thirty minutes, I will put on every bit of armor I have, every weapon I can carry, and I will make someone at the fucking Zoo talk to me until I know where you are.

[It's a struggle to respond to her by the time he actually checks his phone. Hot water and sleep have done what they can and the curl of Jacob's arms have left him fuzzy...but once he sees her message, it's like lightning through him. When did she send that? What time- ten minutes to spare to her ultimatum and Chris types as quickly as he can.]

Don't

[Gods, if she went there and asked around, what would they tell her? Who bought him? The fight? Everything?

Probably not. He suspected that was not something they'd be boasting about outside of their friends. Still...]

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to leave it that long.
I'm safe now.

[She said thirty and and that meant she was leaving in thirty minutes, so his message comes with just enough time to keep her from bashing her way through everyone at the Zoo for answers.]

What happened? Who took you in? Do you need anything?

[If he says anything worrying, she's going out anyway. He can't stop her.]

Jacob took me in. His dom bought me.

I need you not to go to the People Zoo and ask them anything. Leave it.
Please

[That sets off so many alarms that it almost physically hurts to restrain herself from destroying her phone. Something happened. She knows it. Chris doesn't say things like this to her. Ever.

Something is wrong.

No use telling him what he already knows.]

Who's Jacob's Dominant? I'm afraid I don't know him at all.

Jacob Frye, the proprietor of the Arena and one of my boyfriends. His dom’s a woman named Rosita, she got me for him so he’d not break into the Zoo to come after me

[How long can he string this along? He’s not planning it for once, just reacting. He ached too much to put that much thought into it.]

[She knows Jacob from seeing him in passing at the Arena and his posts on the network. Rosita... Hm. A name she's seen on the finder, but that's it. Fuck. Less helpful now, but it's still information and that's something.

Not enough, though.]

You know and trust this woman? Where does she live? I want to see you, not to talk yet but to know you're all right with my own eyes.

If not me, you know Wolfe will ask. [And then she'll find him and follow.]

[This feels like a balancing act, texting her and Hawke having already called him and forced him out of bed, but she’s persistent. If she doesn’t hear something from him, she might just hear it from Wolfe.]

I’ll be honest, I don’t know her, but I trust Jacob. I don’t know where she lives, but it’s not here with him. His home is The Hollow, just inside the woods.

And Hawke’s already on his way to heal me. You’re welcome to come place eyes.

[Hopefully his friend’s work would be quick enough to fade the belt-shaped bruise around his throat by the time she got here.]

Send me the location. I'm on my way.

[And, same as her boyfriend, she's not taking a damned cab. Fuck the city. Fuck the natives. Fuck everyone right now. The woods aren't so far and cabs don't get her close enough to the trees anyway. She's out there often enough to know her way very well.]

I want to know what happened before you got out. Why you didn't answer. Why you don't want me going to the Zoo.

[She's demanding a lot, but she's in the mode of a leader who needs information to act on. Chris will have to deal with it and accept her apology later.]

[He sends her the location first with a silent apology to Jacob for sharing his home. Not that he thinks the assassin will mind too much in this case, but still.

He knows what she's doing, though. The demand to know so she could work with what he had to give her. It's tempting to tell her no. He won't, but he thinks about it. He's a king, he can do this with his chin held high even as shame and anger pulls at him.]

I instigated a fight with the SIN guards for the cruel comments they were making about myself and my loved ones. I was already angry and it clouded my judgement. They stripped my magic from me and overpowered me. Most of their hits were directed to my torso except the initial few. Bruises. Split lip. Potentially broken rib.

[The rest...was not from that.]

If that were all, you'd have told me what happened when I first asked.

[The time between messages. The number he'd allowed her to send. The fact that he apologized at all? No. Something is very wrong. Something happened and it was worse than he's suggesting. She's starting to feel sick knowing that.]

You have another four minutes until I arrive. Tell me the rest of it.

[He swallows and detaches himself from his words as he types. This isn't a favor. Not to him or to her, it won't serve her, but hiding it would imply a shame at having been overpowered at all. That, at least, he doesn't feel. They'd beaten him before anything else, Jon was right. They were cowards and Chris held to that.]

It won't serve you to know.

The fight was broken up by Rosita.
Two fo them came back after she left to make an example of what a submissive should be for. Claimed they were doing my dominant a favor.

They used my mouth, restrained and choked me, wrote things on my skin and took one of their sticks to me as one might a paddle. One of them put his fingers in me, but it wasn't to stretch so much as humiliate while he got himself off.

Are you happier knowing?

[That wasn't kind, that was sharp and revealed too much. He buries it back down.]

Sorry. Nevermind.
That's the rest.

[She stops a handful of yards back from the house, and it's all for the better. His message is far worse than she'd imagined. What they'd done to him. What they'd done under the guise of "helping" with their power. Her anger rises and she almost turns from the house immediately to go to the Zoo. Her chest rises and falls in rage-fueled pants and her knuckles turn white around the grip of a dagger.

She'll kill them. She'll kill all of them. Now. Right now. She'll step inside and tear them apart with knives and rocks and words they'll never see coming.

A deep breath saves her. Five in, four out.

It won't help right now. Fully armed as she is, she needs a plan. She needs to make sure the one in her care is well.]

Thank you for telling me. You owe me no apology for your words.

Are you taking visitors? I'll stand guard outside if not.

[Her turn can wait a bit longer.]

[ 'Thank you for telling me.' Simple as that and he feels something shift in him that feels vulnerable and aches. He buries that down again, but lets the affection from it linger. He resolves to say something with her when they meet. Which...]

I don't want you to linger in the cold, but Hawke's about to heal me. You could wait on the back porch and I can bring you a blanket and tea or you can come inside and sit on the couch. You just might see more than you'd like.

I'm asking what you want, Chris. I'll be fine.

[The cold will sharpen her mind and senses with enough time. It can only help at this point.]

I'll go to the back porch as you've asked. You don't need to do anything for me. Stay with him. He needs to be there for you.

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cw: discussion of abuse, noncon and d/s dynamics, humiliation

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