chrisisofaith | IC Contact

Everyone has a safety blanket, something that makes them feel better.
Mine’s a prickly and short man who wears glasses he doesn’t need.

And if it was a ‘habit’ then did you really need them to start? Were they always just for show?

I’ll tease you less if you tell me the truth

Edited 2023-11-05 05:28 (UTC)

How would you even know if I was lying over text?

Because I don’t need to Know things to know you
Just as I know you hate and love that I do.

I know a lot of things about you

Glasses are a perfectly legitimate accessory.
People wear bracelets and rings.
Why not glasses?

You dig deeper the more embarrassed you feel you should be
It’s endearing

Is this supposed to be teasing me less?

I said I’d tease you less if you told the truth, but you’re just digging up more deflections!

Fine.
I wore them as a fashion accessory.

To make you look more learned
I understand
And it does make you seem very distinguished at first. I’m very fond of your glasses.
Another reason not to lose them or the chain

‘At first’?

You have many many charms my love

Now, shall we talk about what you don’t actually want to talk about?

How you’re feeling with two rather close friends gone. What I can do for you tonight to ease your heart

What we’re going to do the next time guilt eats at you and you need a firm hand to set the course once more

Edited 2023-11-08 17:02 (UTC)

I don’t need a dom.

[There’s a lot to address in Chris’ message, but that’s the first thing that catches his eye.]

I had coping mechanisms before Duplicity that didn’t involve that.
I’ll just turn back to those.

[Were they healthy? Not especially. But they existed.]

For tonight, I was planning on working through.
There’s an interesting statement I’m researching.
Might take a while.
It’s fine.
Enjoy the evening with Wolfe.

You need an outlet

And you don’t get to tell me I’m not to start fights to get punched or find risky partners and then turn my hand away when I know you’re just as prone to harmful habits

[Hes just going to ignore the rest of that for now. What ‘tonight’ looks like will depend entirely on the rest of this conversation.]

Why can’t work be my outlet?

[He doesn’t mean that to sound petulant…]

Look, I rely on you for so much already.
Do you even want something like that?
Honestly.
I know you said you can put on the coat and take it off again.
But I thought you didn’t want us crossing wires like that.
Not so formally when I’m meant to be the outlet for you when you need to just be my bird and relax.

It can be to a degree, but I like to see you sometimes too

I know we talked about that early on. I was worried about it then, but I think we’ve found a way to balance. To make that separation in our minds, what of it we don’t already blur. There’s more trust and experience between us now. Our communication is better.
I want to help you, I want to be your support, whatever we choose for that to look like for us. I know you can support me back too, promise it won’t undermine that.

I had a rule with Daphne to keep from blurring lines between that relationship and our friendship.
She wouldn’t try to dominate me with things like orders or discipline unless we’d explicitly started a scene.
If you’re really interested in trying this, I’d ask the same for you.
I’m not interested in a lifestyle sort of thing.

[No more than what he already lets Chris get away with.]

What would your stipulations be?

Of course. I've no interest in a non-consensual scene. While I might suggest one if I notice you're tense and might benefit, it wouldn't happen without your say, just as I would expect of you. Besides, we seem to do alright with some structure and no specific scene more often than not and I'll always start there.

I would ask that, if you feel I'm over-stepping, you talk to me instead of shutting it away or doubting your own discomfort. I'm not always best at realizing that's how it sounds and I would rather know it.

We should also have a proper talk on expectations and limitations, this is a different sort of scene than just taking you from your head for peace. There's different mindsets.

One last thing: There's constructive and destructive pain and discipline and the moment that line blurs is the moment we stop and revaluate. I want to help you, not become a different bad habit. Which brings the last point, one I know you worry about: if this layer begins to adversely affect our relationship, just us as us, we'll talk and find something else.
Okay?

[Uncertainty does wend its way through him. Even if he lets Chris sort of dom him sometimes, making it something more formal with discipline is… different. He chews at his lip for a moment. Trying doesn’t mean they have to continue.]

Okay.

Did you want me to fill in that form I brought when we were negotiating for pet play?
If we’re going to talk about limits and expectations.

[Nervousness he isn’t accustomed to flits through him and coils in his stomach for some of the doubts and questions that raise in him. It’s something he should reach out to someone for, perhaps ask advice…but those he might go to were no longer here…they wouldn’t be having this conversation if they were.]

Yes, thank you, that would help.

[It's a while before Jon responds with an attached file.]

You should fill it out, too.
Use them to start the conversation.

[He reads over Jon's a couple times, then fills out his own (once he's figured out how to). It's a little bit later he sends a responding attached file]

There we are, love. I've already a few questions and, unfortunately, you might not find mine especially helpful when I'm flexible in what and how I can do things. It'll be based on what you need and want.

Also, did I make you feel oddly during that femme fatale scene?

Edited 2023-11-12 20:32 (UTC)

[...]

I think we made each other uncomfortable.
I could tell you were bothered.
I just thought I needed to act better.

It was uncomfortable. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you, but I stand by what I said then: I appreciate it was you all the same
And nothing terrible, just the equivalent of bad sex.

Do you want to discuss the sheet in person or would text be easier? Normally I’d insist face to face
But it’s you and you already have my implicit trust, I’ll only be seeing your face for the joy of it

[He considers that, chewing at his lip a moment.]

I just don't think I make a very good woman.
Let's not try that again unless you have to for quota.

But in-person would be better.
I trust you, as well, but text does lose some nuance.
We can talk when I get home?

Probably for the best, as much as I love women, I might have a harder time being in love with one. Though maybe I'd make exception for you.

I'll see you when you get home. Is Wolfe walking with you?
Just so I know if I should make him a thermos for his dog walk when I make our tea.

(no subject)

compellingstatement - 2023-11-19 07:01 (UTC) - Expand