chrisisofaith | IC Contact

[Chris scoffs gently.]

Silly thing you are, I'll run the muffins myself. We'll see each other then.

[For now, he gets the nuts to sprinkle in and starts cutting the figs.]

I've an odd question for you: a thought experiment, if you will...do you think half the people we've come to care about for here we'd still care for if this city were average? Do you think we'd mostly just...go about our days without making all the kinds of attachments we have? We wouldn't, right? Attachments made during adversity and strife is a wildly different thing than the ones we make during peace.

I'd like that. I can put some tea on...I think it would be good for both of us.

[Quiet commiseration is an indulgence that Rhys knows he for sure would appreciate. It comes and goes in waves, the desire for company and the urge to retreat, but the comfort he'd had thus far had helped...and Chris can offer magical relief for the physical wounds, which Rhys tries to discount right up until he moves and is reminded of the state of his back.

He lets out a slow breath, then turns his attention to the bigger question Chris offers.]

I think that's valid, yeah. I mean, I like people, I thrive on...company, I guess? But when I got here I was really focused on where I was before. It took time and a lot of crazy shit to shake me out of it and start looking to others. Because I had to. Being a Submissive. The Manor house. Everything else that makes up this madness.

It's a lot of trial by fire. And it strips us naked, takes away the illusions. It's seeing each other at our worst, but it also means being seen at our worst, and if you can get through that and still be loved, that's...something. That's a lot.

[He hums thoughtfully and slides the pans into the oven for their time to bake. It frees up his hands (after a moment of quick clean up) to take up his phone again.]

That's...a fair point. One I'll have to think on. For all they've seen my through a lot, I don't think my people back home have seen me at the worst I know I've been capable of here...but, by that same token, they've not seen the better me I've become here for all the bad. If that makes sense.

I hope I can take it all back with me some day...the death of this version of me would be something I couldn't remember to mourn.

The way this place plays with memory...I can only hope we remember what we've learned here. It's so much trial by fire and sheer, unadulterated bullshit...to lose what good we managed to get out of it, what growth...

[It's a rare flash of anger from Rhys, as clear and burning as the pain lingering in his abused body. It sears his nerves like a whipstrike, and he breathes for a second to tamp it down.]

I try not to think that far ahead if I can help it. But...while we have it, it's important. And it does make sense, yes.

[Chris pauses when he hears Rhys' tone, his head cocking to the side slightly.]

You feel strongly about it. More than I think I guessed. Wolfe's been bottling his memories to try and take those with him if he can't take the memories themselves...I've been putting magical tattoos on me here and there in the hopes those will come along at least. I suppose we'll just see.

[He gives a rough, unpleasant, laugh and sighs.]

Assuming we leave here at all. There's also the possibility there's no way home and they 'do away' with those taken...or we're copies...or we were never real to begin with. Those sorts of 'what ifs' are too much to linger on for me...but it's ignorance to pretend they're not possible.

What would be your ideal end to this nightmare, do you think? If our wishes held any weight at all.

Yeah. There's a lot of things I try not to think about here.

[Rhys goes quiet for a moment, thoughts twisting and burning in his mind. Normally he might have left it, laughed it off, but he's still raw with doubt and anger from his punishment. Raw enough that he speaks truthfully, and it's just as well it's Chris because if Rhys was to speak anything of this, it would be someone he trusts as much as the cleric.

When he speaks, its heavy with the years hes lived, the mistakes he's made.]

I don't think I have a future at home, unless something changes there. Unless I change. I made a lot of mistakes, burned a lot of bridges. I tried to be better, but it was a struggle and I was *tired*.

[But he's willing to try, still. Even after everything. For a little longer, anyway.]

If I could keep my memories of what I've done here, I think it would be better. But honestly? I don't know.

I think maybe I'd choose to find another world, somewhere I could start again. I don't want to forget my mistakes, but...I don't want to be chained by them, either.

[Chris listens quietly, the words resonating with both sentiments he's heard and a little of what he's felt as well. No two circumstances would ever be the same, but after everything they'd all been through, the changes and the pain, who wouldn't both be tired and want to hold onto what they'd learned of themselves? And if Rhys had already been so tired back home...what comfort could there be in that?]

I understand...you deserve to be able to live and learn and do better. I know you're more'n capable of it. I'd suggest you could come to my world and learn new magics and find a new life...but Incubi aren't exactly well received, you'd always have to hide that part unless you got very lucky indeed. Still, might be kinder than here or your home, if those are your only options."

[Rhys stays quiet for a moment, his emotions coming and going like the pull of tide. It's hard to regulate when he's tired and in pain like this, but he steadies himself with breath and a moment to hear what Chris has said.

It helps. Combined with the deep discontent that simmers in him at the city's ill treatment, it brings forth hope, and a longing for a new start. To be better.]

I expect I'd have to hide it almost anywhere, honestly. I can live with that. The fact that magic is an open thing in your world, though? That would be...I think I'd like that. If I could still heal, especially.

[He smiles quietly.]

It's something to think about, and I feel better about the whole thing knowing I'd be welcome somewhere.

[His timer goes off and Chris goes about fetching his baking from the oven to let it cool while he prepares a container for it.]

You could...and with your worship of something similar to the Raven Queen...quite possible you could head into being a cleric yourself...one of Life, maybe? Or maybe you'd find the magic inherent in nature like a druid.

You'd do well there, certainly. Would you want to live in a larger town, a city, a smaller town, or out in nature do you think?

[Since they're discussing the 'waht ifs' of this...and he has a honey glaze to apply once he's finished magically cooling the treats.]

I think whether it's my magical path or not, I'd want to be close to growing things. I'm used to the city, but someplace where I could keep a garden would be nice. I have to admit, I am really curious how my abilities would translate to the structure of your world...I guess I'd have to find out.

And...you know I'd want to be close to you, too. To be able to see you.

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