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[chrisisofaith]

UN: ravens

You've reached Chris Sonom, previously of Melvaunt Deismyr, please leave a message.

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[wolfehawke]

"Oh, Love..." Wolfe moves his arms as he always does when Chris curls into his chest, wrapping around his head to create a small cavern of safety there against his chest. Or what he hopes is safety. What Chris wants for him he wants to give in return. Nothing is safe so long as they're in Duplicity, but it's the intention that matters. The action all the rest of the time. Wolfe has never felt more safe than in Chris's hands. Having that used against them in testing had been harrowing and cruel, but it hadn't changed that Wolfe knows beyond any doubt that if they were someplace else - in Deismyr, like they dream - nothing could take that safety away.

"I'll tell you, if it is," he concedes, because he knows it will set a little ease in his cleric's mind, sorely needed after all of this. He means it, too. He will tell him, but he doubts it will ever reach that point. He may not believe that Love is the only thing you need for a successful relationship any longer, but he a willingness to work through what comes, to face these things together, that they do have.

"I...have to trust you'll help me as much as I'd help you in the reverse."

Yes, they do have that.

"We'll work through anything that comes. Together, I promise you. I know you, Chris Sonom, and I know you would do me intentional harm in all the same likelihood that I would visit it on you." Which is to say, he wouldn't be in his right mind if he did.

[chrisisofaith]

He stays in that cocoon of arms and love and things part of him still struggles to feel worthy of…but he has no further argument against it. Not right now.

Gods preserve them this. How much more heartache could they take?

Chris takes a long breath in and slowly lets it out as he turns to press his cheek to Wolfe’s shoulder.

“I love you. More’n anything.” And nearly more than anyone. If he took his boys home and found his thief and his bard couldn’t handle there being new loves in Chris’ life…he knew who he’d have to choose…no matter how cruel or unfair it would be to Ra’ah or Kallian.

Jon and Wolfe were the supports of his soul, the threads bound so tightly to his own he wasn’t sure he’d be strong enough to stand without them any longer.

It’s not something he’s prepared to say out loud, now or ever if he can help it.

Some of the tension leaves his limbs even as the static plays at the corners of his mind and he shifts again to be able to kiss Wolfe’s cheek. “Sorry for yanking you to the forest.”

[wolfehawke]

"I'm glad you did," he replies softly, returning his own kiss to the side of Chris' head again in those curls he loves so much. "I wasn't-"

His pause stretches for a moment, then he sighs and lets the weariness soak the edges of his words again. He's not going to keep anything from Chris. He'd asked for his love not to treat him as fragile even if he felt it. Wolfe owes him the same in return. "I wasn't doing well. Haven't been, really. My thoughts scatter and I dwell too long and keeping myself from simply falling apart has been a trial. I mean it when I say it's easier by your side. I've felt so alone recently, this is... Better. So much better."

The relief in his voice is palpable, and even if he can still feel that weight on his chest, it's eased just for being here, curled together in a knot with the man he loves.

Gently, he slides one hand from Chris' shoulders and finds his fingers instead, pressing his thicker digits in between to lace them securely. "I love you too. More than I can ever say. I'm going to spend the rest of this life and all of the next showing you."

[chrisisofaith]

He nearly goes tense again when Wolfe seems to hesitate, like he isn't sure he should tell him...but then he does and it stings, it puts a clamp in Chris' throat, but he's glad to have Wolfe tell him, regardless.
He should have been there for his partner more, rather than curling in on himself like a wilted flower.
He should have checked in on Wolfe more instead of assuming he had other supports who could help him or that Chris had done enough.
Wolfe shouldn't need him as much as that, wasn't that dangerous for his mage? Shouldn't he have been able to recover without him? Gods, what if he hadn't even come back from the testing as had happened with some?

Chris takes a deep breath and squeezes Wolfe's fingers and turns his face to kiss Wolfe's cheek, his voice low but steady when he finally speaks.
"I'm looking forward to it. I expect you at my side evermore, my Champion...my love. I promise to be at yours as well...I'll not leave you alone if I can help it."