chrisisofaith | IC Contact

A smile forms on her lips as she holds herself to him, tears of relief in her eyes. "I love you, too. I always will."

This is what she needs for closure. She needs the reminder that he's Chris and that no matter what they do or say to each other in the heat of the moment, they choose to be here. They choose their love and connection and come together to simply... be. She knows it, always, but feeling it is always better than simply hearing it or reading it through text.

There's so much else she'll want or need in time, but this is where it starts. This is where it will always start: with the two of them, together, facing whatever's come their way.

"Walk hand-in-hand with me until we reach your door." She doesn't let go of him as she says it, arms clasped around him as if she'll float away without his solid weight beneath them. "Tell me about--" She exhales a tense breath. "Tell me about the siren. I... I haven't asked because I was afraid to know, but it's part of you now. I want to know all parts of you, the same as I always have." The same as she always will.

"Tell me all this, and help me understand more fully who you are with it. That's what I need right now." After she can finally let him go to start their walk. Dreams know that in these first few seconds, she's not yet willing to part from him to make their way toward home. Even when she does, she'll take them on the most meandering path she can.

They have all day together, and with him is where she needs to be. Where they are now that the worst is out barely matters at all.

He keeps her hand tight in his and walks along with her as she decides. To his door, around the entire city, he would go wherever she wanted in that moment.

"Alright...Someday...someday I will show it to you again. In a better light." Maybe that would help as well, but for now it felt like a step too far.

"It was difficult to change at first -scary- I felt less like me when I was like that. Now...now I have more control, I know the instincts better and know myself. I can be myself more. You and I...we sometimes have a hard time getting the words out or getting them right, but singing as my siren doesn't muddy anything with my clumsy use of language. I can share my feelings and thoughts and wants with clarity. Sometimes too much clarity, but even that's...freeing." He sighs and looks out at the ocean, that longing song in the back of his mind a faint echo easily ignored these days.

"Between the wings for flight and the gills and fins for swimming...the whole thing feels like the freedom that had slowly been choked from me here. It's just...another facet now."

What a strange and unexpected boon to come from something that was so painful for a time. To have a way to overcome something you struggle with is always welcome, but this is the most unique way she's heard of it coming to pass. She's not ready to see the siren again today, but she's grateful to know he's found peace with it. Having known about it since the finder outed him about it, she's been curious. It never felt like something she could ask about until today.

"I can't imagine what that's like," she admits with a squeeze of his hand. "For all the things we share, I've never felt trapped the way you have." By his body when he was young, by the crown he wears in his world, by the extra limitations the city puts on him. She chose to tie herself down and stay that way in Ragneux, the same way she chooses to toe the line here with only a few violent moments to sate that need to give back some of what they get. He struggles to speak in ways she never has, too, and the siren frees him from all of it. Temporarily, but if it's enough to ease his mind and worries for a time, isn't that enough?

"When you share your thoughts as the siren... is it always in song?" The way it was a year ago on the very beach they're slowly leaving behind?

He's quiet while they walk, while she seems to think his words over and he, in turn, thinks over her words. How she's never felt trapped quite like that. He hadn't considered it before, but it was true to a degree, wasn't it? Part of her fear of going home lay in losing who she'd become. Who she'd found with the freedom to simply be here. She had more freedom as a dominant, sure, but beyond that she was clever and resourceful and could make it work for her in a way Chris isn't even sure he could manage if their designations were switched.

He pushed against everything around him, where she flowed to fit the crevices and wear them like a crown. If she'd been the one to turn into a siren, she would have made that work for her from the start as well, he was sure.

"No, I can talk as normal, just...comes with an odd sort of echo to it, like my voice has more sound to offer and no where to put it. Although, if you mean 'can I speak in my head to other people' then no, that's just through the songs and I don't have much control over it. It's like...an impression of thoughts through the songs, as opposed to actual words." He shakes his head. "I'm likely not doing it justice, but it's a little like trying to explain walking to someone who's never done it before, it's just something I learned I could do."

If he ever meets a siren expert here, he'd definitely be picking their brains about it.

It sounds beautiful and she can understand why stories call the songs of sirens hypnotic. She's felt that pull, but the way he explains it makes it truly make more sense. Now she has to wonder how many fall prey to these creatures back home, whether to pleasurable ends or terrible ones doesn't really matter. Her curiosity wants to know all.

"Thoughts and feelings through song that don't require words," she muses, a small smile on her lips. "It suits you. Many things about the sea do, but this above many other things feels right for you." A creature of beauty and death, of feelings too big to get out without help. Chris is many things and she'd never have chosen this for him, but now that it's a part of him she can't imagine him without it.

"It's all right if you're not getting it across well. I've experienced some of it already, and someday I hope to know it again so I can understand it even better." She squeezes his hand gently. "I could no sooner explain how or why I do or experience certain things. What you've offered is plenty, I promise."

He squeezes her hand back and then, after another moment, brings it up to kiss the back of it in quiet thanks.

"Some day I'll show you...but thank you...for trying to understand for now. Gods know you didn't have to and I'd not have blamed you."

They're not too far from their homes now, a few more blocks and Chris feels...lighter. It's still complicated, maybe not entirely healed...but better to talked out. Maybe more what he'd been hoping for a year ago, but neither of them were good enough at words to figure that out.

"If you think of anything else you might need from me...to help, even if I can't fix...promise you'll let me know it."

That small kiss makes her heart soar. He didn't have to be so gracious about any of this, yet he does so now that they've talked through this and made more space for themselves to feel everything that happened. It was difficult, but she's so grateful for this time with him. She smiles warmly at him as he speaks, choosing to listen and think before they finally come to a stop at the edge of Marzipan Terrace's yard.

"I will tell you if I think of anything, I promise." She turns to him and lifts her free hand, brushing her fingers across his cheek as she tips his face to allow her to kiss his forehead. "Thank you for being here with me, Chris. I love you so much, and I'm glad we had this."

Slowly, she withdraws and gives his hand one last squeeze before turning him toward the door and letting go. "For now, I ask you rest and focus on yourself. Our mage will be there for you if you need him, and I'm but a message and short run away if you need me." She nods to the door. "Go, my cleric, and know my heart is with you always. We'll see each other again soon."

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