chrisisofaith | IC Contact

[Sharp, she thinks. Mulling over whether or not this conversation should have ever been started. Maybe, yes, but not like this.

Get it together, Ms James. She perks up considerably.]

I spent the day w' Kyle is all. Just had a good time, an' I got thinkin about that night you'nme went pubcrawling. Was fun. Y'made me cute in tha outfit. But! You should go so yhou can spend time with Jon. Yer both so bloody cute, y'know. If nobody told you so.

[A beat. We won't get into 'miss you a stupid lot'. No, not tonight. Not like this. She's smiles. Wobbly smiles, but they're meant. They're good.]

A smile forms on her lips as she holds herself to him, tears of relief in her eyes. "I love you, too. I always will."

This is what she needs for closure. She needs the reminder that he's Chris and that no matter what they do or say to each other in the heat of the moment, they choose to be here. They choose their love and connection and come together to simply... be. She knows it, always, but feeling it is always better than simply hearing it or reading it through text.

There's so much else she'll want or need in time, but this is where it starts. This is where it will always start: with the two of them, together, facing whatever's come their way.

"Walk hand-in-hand with me until we reach your door." She doesn't let go of him as she says it, arms clasped around him as if she'll float away without his solid weight beneath them. "Tell me about--" She exhales a tense breath. "Tell me about the siren. I... I haven't asked because I was afraid to know, but it's part of you now. I want to know all parts of you, the same as I always have." The same as she always will.

"Tell me all this, and help me understand more fully who you are with it. That's what I need right now." After she can finally let him go to start their walk. Dreams know that in these first few seconds, she's not yet willing to part from him to make their way toward home. Even when she does, she'll take them on the most meandering path she can.

They have all day together, and with him is where she needs to be. Where they are now that the worst is out barely matters at all.

You don’t have to give me anything, love. You give him happiness and peace of mind and comfort and you often give me similar in our own way. That’s plenty. Besides, you’re taking on the brunt of planning for him this year, I appreciate that as well.

I love you as well. Enjoy yourselves. Enjoy him, he’ll love it. Your wickedness is certainly an art on its own.

[For now..he should probably get started with planning…]

[The name draws curious confusion to Chris' expression.]

No...sorry, sir...not in this building. Though...I think I remember seeing a pet-something place just down the blo-

[Jon's hand on him had been all the warning he had and still he couldn't stop the stutter his partner's mouth put in him. Gods save him. He covers it with a small cough and looks back to the Dom to raise a hand and point to the right.]

Sorry about that...if you ah...go a few doors down this...this block, I think it's on the um.... [Fuck.] Left.

[Or was it the right? He wasn't entirely sure it was there at all, but it was a better option than the man staying here. If it was the sort of pet place Chris suspected it was, it wasn't in this building.

The man shoots him a...confused? Concerned? Some kind of look. Maybe Judgmental, but that was fine, Chris couldn't care for the raising heat in his face.
Pull it together 'King of the Northern Coast.'

Blissfully, the man leaves to follow Chris' direction and the cleric is quick to snake a hand down and into Jon's hair.]

No one thinks we’re cute, love, but thank you.

[In fact, for the longest time, he’d been convinced none of his friends but Wolfe and Sasha would ever approve of his relationship with Jon. They just didn’t know him enough. Now they at least tolerated him.

More importantly…he steps into the other room to continue their conversation.]

Regardless, I’m curious why it’s not fair. Why you’re apologizing. What’s the booze stirred up in your head?

Well, I think you are, so I guess 'm no one.

[She's puzzled at his question at first, starting to feel like she's fretted about something that wasn't anything...

Maybe try to explain, Sasha. Do better. She sighs.]

When--when I got so frustrat'd cos I felt like you were diggin' in so hard at whether or not I was working too muhch. I snapped at you, an' we haven't talked since then. Not really. Didn' seem like you wanted to, an' you wanted sspace that didn' include me, ever. I didn' like that. How you 'proched me about my doing too much.

[She won't tear up. She won't! Sorta.]

Didn' like not being how we were more. Didn' like not having my friend. Hated that more. You--you were concerned, I was doin too much. I wasn't fair. To you.

'm sorry.

[Listening to Chris stutter out his answers is at least a little satisfying, and makes this a tiny bit more tolerable. What would make it even more-so, though, is something that requires Jon to remove his lips. Chris' hand lands in his hair just as Jon is pulling back and off to mutter.]

A flavor would be nice.

[...]

You don't taste disgusting. Just, er... you know?

[...]

Please?

Edited 2024-08-04 04:16 (UTC)

He keeps her hand tight in his and walks along with her as she decides. To his door, around the entire city, he would go wherever she wanted in that moment.

"Alright...Someday...someday I will show it to you again. In a better light." Maybe that would help as well, but for now it felt like a step too far.

"It was difficult to change at first -scary- I felt less like me when I was like that. Now...now I have more control, I know the instincts better and know myself. I can be myself more. You and I...we sometimes have a hard time getting the words out or getting them right, but singing as my siren doesn't muddy anything with my clumsy use of language. I can share my feelings and thoughts and wants with clarity. Sometimes too much clarity, but even that's...freeing." He sighs and looks out at the ocean, that longing song in the back of his mind a faint echo easily ignored these days.

"Between the wings for flight and the gills and fins for swimming...the whole thing feels like the freedom that had slowly been choked from me here. It's just...another facet now."

[He's quiet a moment as he thinks that over. This...absolutely isn't a conversation they should be having while she's drunk off her ass. The fact it took her being drunk off her ass to reach out to him about the space between them...

He presses a hand to his face and walks further into the kitchen.]

Do...do you actually want to talk about this now? I did approach you harshly...I am sorry for that, it's my nature. The way you snapped at me hit just the wrong way, I figured you no longer wanted to hear from me and my meddling ways. So I made it easy for you.

I miss our friendship, but friends can and will hurt each other. I know you know that.

What a strange and unexpected boon to come from something that was so painful for a time. To have a way to overcome something you struggle with is always welcome, but this is the most unique way she's heard of it coming to pass. She's not ready to see the siren again today, but she's grateful to know he's found peace with it. Having known about it since the finder outed him about it, she's been curious. It never felt like something she could ask about until today.

"I can't imagine what that's like," she admits with a squeeze of his hand. "For all the things we share, I've never felt trapped the way you have." By his body when he was young, by the crown he wears in his world, by the extra limitations the city puts on him. She chose to tie herself down and stay that way in Ragneux, the same way she chooses to toe the line here with only a few violent moments to sate that need to give back some of what they get. He struggles to speak in ways she never has, too, and the siren frees him from all of it. Temporarily, but if it's enough to ease his mind and worries for a time, isn't that enough?

"When you share your thoughts as the siren... is it always in song?" The way it was a year ago on the very beach they're slowly leaving behind?

[He buries his smile behind his free hand as he braces an elbow on the desk.]

Not disgusting, just a dick...I get it. Here...

[He clenches his fingers in Jon's hair and casts the simple spell with a muttered word. Honey lemon, this time...but the lightly diluted flavor it gets when put in tea. It's the first thing that comes to mind with thoughts full of dicks in your mouth and sore throats that can come with that.]

You know, if it weren't for the mess, I'd almost be inclined to suggest foodplay as an interest for you.

[He's not necessarily expecting an answer, but he can't help putting that teasing idea into Jon's head.]

You... what?

[He needs to get back to what he's here for.]

Like what they made us do in Realignment?

[His lips close back over Chris' cock. Listening doesn't require his mouth. And this is much better. Jon's eyes close briefly as the taste of tea rolls against his tongue. The texture of it is a bit odd, but he can just think of it like some sort of treat. There's a thought. Tea-flavored ice lollies? Hmm...]

[A sigh with a moment of thought. Does she really want to talk about this now? The moment when she managed to feel brave enough to reach out again? Yes and no. What happens if she continues? What happens if she doesn't?]

I do want to talk, but I don't. 'm drunk, I know, but please let me get this out now.

Yer right. Friens can and will hurt each other. Have you met me and Tim? Just-- I guess like you? I thought you wanted that-- To not hear from me after I snapped at you. That I was too much. 'cos I was tired, n' stressed more than I realized. Felt pushed--and 'm sorry. I am. Wolfe and 'Melia helped me see it. Kyle. Tim. You.

[Jon’s mouth- his renewed interest in effort- is enough to rattle Chris’ thoughts and a hand is quick to return to Jon’s hair while he breathes through the pleasure.

Realignment? What?

His mind flashes to realignments that…conflict with his current arousal, at least until he recalls mirrors and a tray of food.]

O-oh…no, no I mean…I mean, yes, that’s food play too. I suppose. I meant food on a person. To eat off them. Fruits and stuff creams and chocolates, that sort of thing.

[Would she even remember this in the morning? Not well enough, he’d guess. Not well enough to think they were alright again.

He scrapes his hand over his face. Let her get it out and then…see how things fell. She could decide in the morning how she felt.]

I’m glad they were there for you. That they could tell you what you needed to hear. I’m sorry I couldn’t.

As long as you’re safe, healthy, and happy, that’s what matters.

[Theres a pause as he thinks that over, but there’s one thing he can’t help coming back to.]

As their souls fade? Is that what happens for you?

How do you know it? Can it be felt?

He's quiet while they walk, while she seems to think his words over and he, in turn, thinks over her words. How she's never felt trapped quite like that. He hadn't considered it before, but it was true to a degree, wasn't it? Part of her fear of going home lay in losing who she'd become. Who she'd found with the freedom to simply be here. She had more freedom as a dominant, sure, but beyond that she was clever and resourceful and could make it work for her in a way Chris isn't even sure he could manage if their designations were switched.

He pushed against everything around him, where she flowed to fit the crevices and wear them like a crown. If she'd been the one to turn into a siren, she would have made that work for her from the start as well, he was sure.

"No, I can talk as normal, just...comes with an odd sort of echo to it, like my voice has more sound to offer and no where to put it. Although, if you mean 'can I speak in my head to other people' then no, that's just through the songs and I don't have much control over it. It's like...an impression of thoughts through the songs, as opposed to actual words." He shakes his head. "I'm likely not doing it justice, but it's a little like trying to explain walking to someone who's never done it before, it's just something I learned I could do."

If he ever meets a siren expert here, he'd definitely be picking their brains about it.

[It's a lot to process, but Wolf is quietly grateful that he's been able to learn and understand the pitfalls of his kind from those wiser and more experienced than he.]

It is a madness that overtakes us, in many possible forms. So it can be hard to tell.

The most reliable way, though, is our reflections. I still have a reflection, though faded, and I am...mostly sane. I remember the man I was before I died, and have kept most of my humanity.

Older vampires lose their reflections completely as they decline. A vampire that does not appear in the mirror is usually very dangerous indeed, there is nothing left of the human within them. They become cold and cruel, or frighteningly capricious. Others give in to constant, unreasonable bloodlust. Some simply fade, overtaken by ennui.

Mmm...

[The hum is a dubious one. That sounds unsanitary. You'd need to be washed thoroughly before putting food on you. And even then, he'd seen that at some of the parties this place has and it just looks uncomfortable for the ones being eaten off of. Of course, if it were Chris and Jon eating off of him... Prestidigitation could do a lot to make something clean.

But what on earth would Chris be getting out of that? Someone chewing over you can't be sexy. Can it? God, people are weird sometimes.

Jon lifts his free hand to squeeze and rub the back of Chris' calf. Perhaps not the most erotic place, but there was only so much he could reach without being seen under a desk. He's engaged enough that he doesn't hear the door open as another person steps into the building. This one, Chris will recognize as the owner of All Stitched Up, Ms. Darla Rosewood, the corsetiere on the second floor.]

Ah, Chris, isn't it? I'm going to be having a client come in around one today. Are you going to be on duty?

It sounds beautiful and she can understand why stories call the songs of sirens hypnotic. She's felt that pull, but the way he explains it makes it truly make more sense. Now she has to wonder how many fall prey to these creatures back home, whether to pleasurable ends or terrible ones doesn't really matter. Her curiosity wants to know all.

"Thoughts and feelings through song that don't require words," she muses, a small smile on her lips. "It suits you. Many things about the sea do, but this above many other things feels right for you." A creature of beauty and death, of feelings too big to get out without help. Chris is many things and she'd never have chosen this for him, but now that it's a part of him she can't imagine him without it.

"It's all right if you're not getting it across well. I've experienced some of it already, and someday I hope to know it again so I can understand it even better." She squeezes his hand gently. "I could no sooner explain how or why I do or experience certain things. What you've offered is plenty, I promise."

[In truth, Sasha wouldn't have known how this conversation might have gone, even if she were sober. She figures that at least he's willing to listen right now, even though she's in not the best spaces of her brain.]

You helped me more than you realize, I promise. I'm just a stubborn shitheadface when 'm overworked, tired, and livin' on coffee an' candy from the machines. You... pushed in a way I didn' espect. I pushed back. 'm the worst at sticking up for myself any other bloody time. That time cost me you.

[Let's see what tomorrow offers.]

I'll let you get back to Jon, yeah?

He told that he loves me.
We're going to try and make everything work. Him and me. You and me.

[Kim doesn't want to disrupt Chris' day too much by insisting on having his attention right now so a text is what he gets rather than a call, but it still probably oozes the bubbly excitement that his voice would.]

[This feels...complicated. More complicated than he knows what to do with. His fights with Amelia were...painful, but almost familiar at this point. Fighting with Sasha...well, he'd already said the wrong thing once. Saying the wrong thing again seemed like a nail in a coffin he couldn't and didn't want to afford.
And saying the right thing when he wasn't convinced she would wake to remember it wouldn't be much better.]

Yeah...my nature ran up against your stress...and it ended poorly for us both. Let's...you go back to having fun, lovely...we'll see about revisiting this later. When you're sober.

[There's a small pause.]

I love you. Talk to you again. [Hopefully.

As soon as he's off the phone, he heads back into the other room with every intention of putting his head on Jon's lap and demanding his hair pet.]

[Well, didn't wait too much longer after all. That was good. And that text-thinned excitement is still clear to him...he can only imagine the real thing.]

Good!
Excellent, I'm happy for you both and for the stubborn-caused headaches I can postpone a little longer.

He loves you fiercely. And I know you do too. You can make this work, I'm sure of it. And happy to be a voice of blunt reason if ever you need.

He squeezes her hand back and then, after another moment, brings it up to kiss the back of it in quiet thanks.

"Some day I'll show you...but thank you...for trying to understand for now. Gods know you didn't have to and I'd not have blamed you."

They're not too far from their homes now, a few more blocks and Chris feels...lighter. It's still complicated, maybe not entirely healed...but better to talked out. Maybe more what he'd been hoping for a year ago, but neither of them were good enough at words to figure that out.

"If you think of anything else you might need from me...to help, even if I can't fix...promise you'll let me know it."

IC Contact

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

backdated to 7/26ish, text; un:secretan

no subject

no subject

no subject